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I could tell he was naked under the sheet and I wondered yet again whatthe hell I was doing. I wanted to feel someone lying next to me, but wasit more than that? If it had been just that wouldn't I have cuddledclose to Nin? Shane was a lovely guy and I owed him big time for whathad happened tonight, but what did I really feel about him? Aside froman adolescent crush on a school friend I had never been attracted to aman. I was in love with Alex, but surely that was something completelydifferent? With her, I had cast aside my British middle-classinhibitions about what was and wasn't normal. Between Alex and Areeyaand Pao, I had done things which I would never have thought myselfcapable of only a few months before. My boundaries had been blown away,and I was not sure where my new boundaries were if indeed, there wereany.Shane was gay, at least bi, and yet here I was, laying next to him, withhis arm d****d over me and feeling good about it. I knew he wasattracted to me, and there is. That’s probably why they didn’t do anything when the other kids beat up on him.I: Did you beat up on him?Doe: No! I’d been taught that just ‘cause someone is smaller than you don’t mean you go beating up on them. That’s why when the other kids did I stopped them. I was big for my age so when I stepped in the other kids backed off. I got in trouble for bullying, of course, but I knew I was in the right.I: And how did Doc … I mean Ernst react to this?Doe: He thanked me and said if I kept “the other gorillas” off him he’d help me with my math. And he did. He didn’t do it for me but he helped me understand it. Then the next year he got to skip ahead and once he left for middle school I never saw him again until he sent me the package.I: Let’s talk about the package, shall we?Doe: O.k. so this package appears on my doorstep. My name and address so I take it inside and open in and inside is this smartphone and one of those blue-tooth earpieces along with a note that says “put the earpiece.
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